Monday, September 21, 2015


Back in 2008 I heard a friend of my mother’s say “thank you Lord” when we got a good car park. I thought this was absolutely absurd and asked her why she was thanking God for a good carpark? She told me that she always prayed for good car parks wherever she went, and that God was always faithful.

To be honest, I initially thought this was rather over the top! Why would God, who has the universe to run, when there were people living in extreme hardship and poverty in the world, care about whether I got a good car park or not? But early the next year the chronic pain muscle condition that  I lived with moved to my legs and every step became extremely painful for me. It was then that I also started to pray for good car parks close to the shops that I wanted to go to. And it was then that I started to be amazed.

Initially in doing this I would pray for a good car park and then take the first car park on the street of the shop I wanted to go to that came available thinking that this was the best park I would get. Then I would painfully have to walk the couple of hundred metres to the shop, only to find that there was a car park right outside the shop that was there waiting for me. This happened to me time and time again until I started to have the faith to trust that God had the best for me. I would then not take the first car park that became available. I would keep going up the road and to my amazement I would get a car park very close to, if not right outside, where I wanted to go.

I have now done this for over 6 years and God has taught me a lot about life and his providing the best for us if we trust him through it.

All of my life I have trusted God that if it was his will he would provide me with a man, a life partner, who believed in what I believed in and who was right for me. Throughout high school I wouldn’t date anyone who didn’t share my Christian beliefs as these beliefs were too important to me, and too much of who I am, to not be able to share them with the most dear person in my life. 

There have been many times over the past 20 or so years that I’ve thought about pursuing certain guys but have felt the Lord saying that, like the car parks a few hundred feet down the road, that he had the absolutely right one for me and to trust him. At times this has been quite a hard one to hold to as 38 years is a long time to wait! I also had times feeling as though I thought I really only deserved the male equivalent of a park at the wrong end of the street before the shop where I wanted to park. A man who was absolutely not the best that God could give me. Was not someone who suited to me, was someone who could treat me badly, and not treat me with respect or love.

However, in meeting someone in recent times that I guess you could say is the equivalent to the absolute best carpark, directly outside the shop I wanted to go to, I have realised that the theory was valid.

If, due to having been single for so long had left me desperate, I would have settled for the ‘car park 500 metres away’ in a man. This would have meant that I would never have met the absolutely ideal ‘car park’ that God had in store for me.

What God has taught me about life and men through car parks is to not settle for anything less than the best that He has in store for us. If we do we will never get to experience the best ‘car park’ (or in this case, man). The one that he preordained, is absolutely right for us, and that He has always had in store.

Far too many people in life settle for less than the best because they don’t actually believe that they are worth the best. But the more I have applied my believing for the best carpark theory to life, the more that I have become aware that God has the absolute best for us. We need to take hold of that, trust him for it and keep on believing it and not settle for less than that.

For 37 years I didn’t, and I could not be more stunned and amazed at the ‘absolutely perfect car park’ equivalent of a man that God has brought into my life.

Don’t settle for less than the best that God has for you people – you might be surprised to find that you get it!

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


‘What is This Thing Called Love’ is the name of a jazz standard that I have been regularly singing at gigs throughout 2014. However, since the end of January, it has become a question that I have been asking myself on a daily basis.

Several weeks ago I came across an old journal of mine from 1998 – 2000 and realised that in fact, this is a question I started asking 17 years ago. It’s actually not new to me at all.

In January 1999 I wrote the following entry into my journal:
What is it?
How does true love feel?

Is love the admiration of another
Combined with a physical attraction?
Is it a similar way of thinking?
Is it similar beliefs?

Surely there are many
That there are these things towards
What is it then that makes one love unique?
If love is a mere expression
How could it be focused on one?”

My feeble attempts to express love in the years leading up to 1999 had ended up with my extreme pain and rejection. In April of that year I wrote the following piece entitled ‘The Expression of Love’:


What if this feeling
Is never expressed?
If as time passes
So do the opportunities
To reveal what is stored
And stirred in my heart

What if the next opportunity
Were to be the last?
Would it matter then
What others would say?

What if I were to live in the moment
And seize each opportunity
To express my feelings
To express the elation
That peace
The knowledge
The passion

Other feelings are in different leagues
None is near as precious as love
None so rarely in truth expressed
None so tied to hurt
With little knots
That can and will only be cut off in time
With the scissors
That have the same name
As that that caused the knots to form
In the first place
The Expression of Love

At the time of writing this I had never experienced love other than that of family members, friends and my wonderful, loving God. I had adored a few males, but it had never been mutual. What I felt for these males was also based entirely on the wrong things – namely physical appearance and how they would make me look and feel. Then after all of the brain trauma I underwent with my ten lots of neurosurgery between 2000 and 2006 I only had the strength to think about getting through the next few hours. The reality is that I had 10 years there when love from the opposite sex never crossed my mind. I am so grateful to God that he removed that desire from my heart for that time.

However, with my recently meeting a truly extraordinary male, a lot of these same questions have risen to the surface. I am finding myself once again asking myself, what is this thing called love?

The bible clearly talks about love and what it is in the 1st book of Corinthians, chapter 13. It says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres Love never fails.” 

However, this excerpt of scripture still leaves me questioning what love is. What I am coming to see though is that love is not one thing but rather, like the bible excerpt quoted above says, a myriad of things.  

What ‘this thing called love’ is is something that I am delighting in learning and I imagine I will continue to learn as the months and years ahead of me unfold.